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First Time - single

by Finn Ronsdorf

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Lawrence Li
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about

“First Time” was written in the beautiful summer of 2018. My body had just turned 20 and my hair was lightened up by the sun. There was a fragrance in the air that went along with the excitement of meeting new people who might or might not become important in one’s life. The possibility was there, and out of that possibility, there is a movement. That movement becomes a song sometimes. It is all a bit blurry, though the lyrics are very sharp and clear. It is this mixture, I think, that makes the song.

There is a great value that lies within the possibility of going beyond our conditioning — may it be society’s anxieties about one’s sexuality or, inevitably, one’s own identification with a sexuality; the potential of this possibility to transcend beyond our conditioning is essential in pursuit of the fullness and authenticity which the human experience can offer us.

When I listen to this recording now, I recognize the hope and encouragement within it. There is a certain optimism which I wish for people to take away from it — I aim for this to be a piece of work which can inspire individuals towards grasping the real possibility that they can move beyond what may have previously held them back (or that which may still hold them back). However, I can’t deny the breath of anger present in this recording as well — and I see this anger as a useful rhetorical device here in painting an authentic portrayal of one of the challenging experiences from my life.

lyrics

Remember the first time
You looked into my eyes
It was so right and so good and so right
Don’t tell me otherwise
And I know you think you can’t love a man
Mhm boy mhm boy
So why are you staring at me like this
As if you’d want to make me all your joy

Open your eyes
For the first time
And don’t be scared no more
Forget society’s anxieties
And come to me

Remember the first time
You looked into my eyes
It was so right and so good and so right
Don’t tell me otherwise
And I know you think you can’t love a man
Mhm boy mhm boy
So why are you staring at me like this
As if you’d want to make me all your joy

Open your eyes
For the first time
And don’t be scared no more
Forget society’s anxieties
And come to me

credits

released May 29, 2020

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Finn Ronsdorf Berlin, Germany

Berlin – a city celebrated for it’s hyper-liberated queer culture and sexual hedonism – is the backdrop of 20-year-old Finn Ronsdorf. Raised in a small village in the Black Forest of Germany, he discovered early on that there must be more than a dictated path through life and that it can be found only within oneself. ... more

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